Avoiding the Bigger Issue

And Other Procrastination Tactics

I am notorious for delaying an issue. Big issues, too. I know Rob is probably shaking his head at that comment cause I am seemingly "Take charge, Take Over" about things...
I'm sitting at work right now doing, ...nothing. Seems like the dream job, right? Actually, I have managed to stall on fixing so many buggy issues (on my computer)that its renderred me useless. If my email locks up, I'll typically open another program till it locks up, too. I hate to quit what I am doing, fix the problem and start fresh - I just ignore it till its a big freaking mess. Its not that I'm lazy, I swear! I just have to many damned things to do - I can't take the time to do ANY of them correctly. My job: principal designer at a furniture company (all the print ads, mailers, internal stationary-cards-signage and website maintenance). I currently work on over 7 programs and sometimes 5 at a time (ex: I'll check my email while working in DreamWeaver and uploading pages with an attached PDF file I just finishes saving, etc. etc. - you get the picture). So many programs ...cause too many problems. I drive my IT guy nuts. I have actually killed 2 hard drives in less than a year and a half. I leave tons of windows up without saving a thing and half of the open programs - are locked up. (right, Rob?) Its catching up with me again. On Friday, I spent an hour or two backing up old print ads onto 5 discs (yes! Space on my computer!) and dumped some really old emails. Over a week ago I hit a wall with trying to upload our entire site to a new host (our website is over 2000 htm pages, thank you very much. Its freaking HUGE!)... its not displaying correctly and the new host company claims no responsibilty. She's right, but it doesn't help me figure out what is wrong at all. So, I'm left re-downloading the ENTIRE thing again (will take 1 hour +) and then reuploading it (another hour). Its just as well, I always put big stuff like this off so it stands to reason that I find myself in this mess on a very cold and boring Monday while I sit here watching files come down one by one. *sigh*

Music Mood

WeatherIt was unseasonably warm last week Friday. I drove home with the sun roof down and Soul Coughing blasting. It was good to hear an old favorite brought back out of the back of the music collection from last summer. I also busted out some Nellie Furtado, for more of the same reason, after getting home ( I hate being in the car on nice days with no appropriate power rock. And yes, I said Nellie Furtado - maybe it was that I heard her at just the right moment in my life cause, I'm guessing that she's not the good to the more musically inclined - but I like the chicky power pop feeling it evolkes in me).
Saturday snowed, rained and ended up just freezing ass cold with the kind of slight sun that left you looking out the window THINKING it was nice (it wasn't). I played Toris Amos *sigh*.
today was cold but getting warmer than the day before - I played a mix of Archer Pruit and Bloc Party. I'm really wanting the weather to get and stay warm. I need the change in music and the mixes are just as wierd as the climate.

Anniversaries and New Beginnings

The Job WorldIts funny how we seem to have friends that are all starting new jobs or shifting in the job world. Recently a gal-pal, hi Kelly!, just switched companies and managed to move up a rung in the ladder in the process. Her husband, hi Eric!, seems to also be making that shift doing something a little more closely aligned with what he wants to be doing (AND will be working from home. He will be making some extra scratch to boot!). And another friend who moved here last September seems to be having silver lined clouds on the horizon with many great job opportunities including one that's more than what he anticipated on finding (keeping my fingers crossed for ya!). Wow! Its all pretty awesome to see - they all REALLY deserve it cause they are all excellent workers who seem to finally be getting the credit they are due. (I can't help but be a littlejealous. C'mon, I'm only human!)
I just celebrated my 2 year anniversary at my workplace not exactly doing what I want but with no clue as to where else I'd go at the moment. Starting over seems really over powering right now. I simply hate starting over. I asked for a review - I was told the 2nd week of March. We'll see. I could use the pay increase (to cover my monthly $75 increase on my out-of-pocket health care, Thanks George Bush!).

Date Night - The Berkeley

C'Mon Feel the Noise, Babies and Cool Cell Phone AttachmentsLots of shit on the 'ole brain tonight. Hot brain, In fact, I ALWAYS have a lot of random crap floating around in my hand but no keyboard handy at just the right moment to get it all down. My head's like a Farris Wheel with random thoughts going round and round again.... periodically one thought gets off and another is right in line to take the opening. No real reasoning behind what's on board at the time. Mostly its problems (like money woes) that ride this ride but I've been drinking already - so its all just random drunks on board at the moment. They all make no sense.
In a feeble attempt to get Rob to turn on music (and turn of Arnold Schwartzeneagle's "Last Action Hero"... which he claims he's watching ONLY cause he's seen the ending 3x' s and just has to see the middle finally) I blast "C'Mon Feel the Noise" on ClearChannel's best radio crap stations on the bathroom radio. He's finally caved after NIN came on... Dismemberment's on th iPod now instead. I like NIN... I like gritty industrial (albeit al-for-show) music sometimes.
We are getting prep'd to go out to a $100+ dinner tonight. A gift certificate from a colleage - business type of Christmas gift from 2004 I have yet to use. Its a GREAT dinner place (diamond restaurant!) ... we just never date anymore. So, finally we are going out for a fancy night and I need the "get dressed to rule the night" type of moivational music on right now.
PS
Discovered the idea of the centuary today - I need it:
http://www.elsewares.com/commerce/Hulger-P*Phone_MPD438.html

LOST

Lost, you are blowing my mind!
Ah! The symbols - what do they MEAN?
Since I can't get onto one of the never-ending chat rooms about this topic, I'll post my own theories here. What if it says "Sayid"?
But, part are of the panels are black (with red characters) and part are red (with black characters).
So, normally it says "108 00" with the 108 representing a minute countdown and the last 00 representing seconds. Maybe the black and red is broken up with the red squares being part of the greater whole in the black symbols to the left (like seconds making up minutes)? Or maybe the black (3) symbols on the left represent 1 of each of the 3 Dharma stations on the island? And maybe the red squares are a countdown to what happens at each of those stations? They already discovered a blown out station and will soon find the 3rd in next week's episode... this would explain why that one tile keeps flipping without ever stopping...

Credit Collector's SUCK!

Credit Collector's SUCK!
In a nutshell - wtf is with all these shady credit letters we get? Today's is the cat's meow... a credit card from 1997 that had a balance of $76.37 is now up to $1892.66? Wha? And you are WHO?
Little do these f**kers know that I happen to have nothing BETTER to do with my time than to write down every little thing they tell me and to spend countless hours on HOLD just to resolve these types of things. These guys are barking up the wrong tree. My tree is one OLD oak tree that doesn't bend in the breeze (what the hell does THAT mean?).

Sick. AGAIN!?.

Sick. AGAIN!?.
This is crap. Not only have I not (can I emphasize "not" more?) been sick in the last few years... but now I find myself sick TWICE in about a month's time. Its crap I tell you! First Rob got a cold... and it was one of those SLOW progressive colds that left you coughing for so many days that you never even noticed when it did finally end... which he gave to me. Now I have this cold that leaves you physically exhausted just bathing yourself. I had to lay on the couch after my shower - it wiped me out. Talking to my mom on the phone left me winded and my lips tingly from lack of oxygen in my body. Sad, sad. Sorry for such a crappy post. No I'm not. Happy Valentine's Day to me!

"Customer Service"

So, back story - I took over one of Rob's outstanding Kent State student loans that came to light via a collection agency phone call in August 2004. After paying this agency off... oh, let's estimate it at 4/5's of the total amount... they suddenly told me I had paid it all off. I argued with them and told them I still owed them money. I seriously had to go through a few phone calls and a few people before I realized that the remainder of this debt had been pulled back by Kent State and sent to the "The Ohio State Attorney General, Jim Petro's Office" (I love that title... you gotta say it in full). That's the thing with these loans, they keep moving shit around hoping you'll forget and suddenly owe $10,000 in interest 3 years down-the-road, its a moving target and its all crap. So, I worked out a deal with Mr. Littlefield at the Ohio Gen's office (they all go by their last names there) to finish this outstanding balance over the course of 2005 - we settle on $100 a month. In fact, I used to over pay this amount and they'd never send statements - I'd just have to remember. I sent a check 2 days late once and boy, they were quick to send a nasty lettr threatening to ruin my credit if I didn't pay promptly next time! (So, you see where this is going - they are assholes).

My point: in 2005 I got a letter from the Federal Gov't telling me I could deduct the interest paid off on this loan (when the agency was collecting the money) for my 2004 tax return. I am now asking the Ohio General office to send me a letter for the 1/5 I finished paying off in 2005, for this year's tax deductions. I'm now getting a bit of a run-a-round from some chicky who's offered, "Mrs. Murano isn't in today - can I help you?". I give her a brief rundown to see if she can, in fact, help me. And this sassy bitch has the audacity to then say, "Well, ma'am, I will need your account #, cause you see, ...you're just talking and I don't have a clue what you are talking about." WTF? Can't she simply say, "One second. let me get your number and see what we are dealing with." what's all that extra crap about me "just talking"?
I quickly snapped back (and I gotta tell you - Rob's heard me, I generally keep my cool in these type of conversations cause these people don't make the rules & they gotta listen to people bitch all day/everday. They need respect, too. But THAT, right out of the gate, was sassy crap. Me: "You didn't ask for an account number. Ready? xxxxxx... [I prattle this bad boy off almost too fast since she seemed so intent on getting this number from me]."
I'm learning a big lesson so far in 2006 - RESPECT is a 2-WAY street. And, I'm NOT putting up with crap from people who don't respect me - no more. I'm done.
Summary: I found out from this chick that apparently, Jim Petro's office doesn't create 1099's and THAT would be the form I'd need to be able to tax deduct any interest... cause only interest on Federal loans can be written off and I'm calling a State office. And, get this, that WAS a federal loan - it was a Perkins loan. She couldn't answer WHY they were handling that loan at all and wouldn't even agree with me that it was shame I couldn't deduct anything this year. All she could say was (and you gotta hear the real unnecessary, snotty tone. she'd cut me off and talk over me just to say this phrase): "Ma'am, that is not my fault."
Me: "I know its not your fault - I'm not yelling at you or blaming you, but can't you just agree that this is all a little odd? Its a shame, really. Can't you just agree? Do you have any paperwork you can provide me with so that I can see what I have paid off and what I may already be paying for in another consolidated Sallie Mae account my husband's set up?"
"Ma'am, I don't know what to tell you but we do not do 1099's here. I have nothing to do with this account, its not my fault."
I told this bitch at this point, "You know what? You need to just calm down. This whole conversation got off on the wrong foot and YOU came flying out of the gate defensive. So maybe you need to take a moment and relax. All I want is to solve my problem and you aren't helping."
B*tch.
[ps, thanks to Rob for conveying, artistically, what I felt like doing to this snotty little girl]

A Sucker's Bet

Well, I had to do good on my bet. I told Rob I'd buy a new TV if the Steelers won the championship (which, they did) and that I'd get to pick it out. I originally said "plasma" but they aren't worth it unless over 42" and in our teeny-tiny bungalow... that's ridiculous. I've wanted a 32" Sharp Aquos (I'd been watching them since Jan 2005; ever since our store did a promo with a local electronics store. I watched them go from $3000 to HALF in one year's time.)

We thought the dream was over when within 48 hrs after the Steelers excited discussed taking the Bus home, the entire local region was sold out of the TV I wanted! It was terrible. But alas, now we were free to go to my fanatical co-worker's house for the game (he recently told me that he painted the bathroom black and gold. He's more then a Steelers Fan, he's borderline psychotic).

Davis decided to go to Best Buy and take a look at the glowing eye candy this past Friday. They were still offering the same no interest till 2009 deal so he quickly snatched up a TV he wanted... and before leaving... inquired about the TV we were looking at. ONE IN STOCK!

After much personal debate and hand-wringing, we went to the store and brought her home. A very quick set-up session had her purring (or was that us?) in no time. We watched episodes 1 and 2 of LOST before retiring for the night. Let me just tell you, we didn't just "watch" LOST, we EXPERIENCED it! The sound (omg, we'd never need a surround system now), the color, the digital bliss... it was magical, I tell's you what. It might just be my age (I am nearing my sexual peak after all) but it was... that good.

Is it wrong to be this excited over a box? Man, its HUGE!	Connect this wire to ... this...
Even the dogs want nothing to do with this dinosaur...	She's looking for all the TV channels... warming up.
Rob and I nestle down for Aquos:101. this manual is like a phone book!	Shhh, the pre-game's on.

Go f#$k yourself... no really, please.

Ever have one of those days where... you just are sick of it? I mean IT. Everything.

It:
• your job
• your problematic house,
• the pile of bills (didn't I JUST pay that?!.)
• the fact that you never get to relax till its time to go to bed for yet another day
• people who talk to you while you are reading... or writing
• your shows are all re-runs... again
• you ate a spoonful of cottage cheese, a handful of bbq chips, cookie dough & 3 glasses of wine for dinner

Sometimes I have these moments (days, really) where I am "no good for people." Its the type of day where you just really want everyone to go fuck themselves and leave you out of it. Or, its the type of day you just could drag everyone into your own bullshit. My day began bad, got better and now I'm all crappy again. I think I need to just take a moment and spend it... alone.

F#$king Stupid

You know, I'm not fucking stupid, people.

Maybe I am stupid. I asked you a question and you freaked out on me. Lashed out, really. I apologize profusely for being lost and asking you to explain it in terms my slow brain can comprehend. I'm sorry that maybe YOU were the one so stupid that YOU could not convey your thoughts correctly... thus leaving me sitting here... clueless.... asking you what the heck you just meant by that.

But now really, you're right. I deserved that. I didn't "get it" so sham on me, right?

I hate being so fucking stupid.

God, grant me the one wish that I can from now on crawl into people's brains and think exactly like they do at that precise moment... so that I no longer sit here looking so fucking stupid.

{This is in reference to my workplace, fyi}