On stand-by

I was sitting in my cube looking out over the parking lot, listening to Christmas music and became just wrought over what my grandmother is enduring. At last check she had 2 strokes (one paralyzing her entire left side) and 2 heart attacks with a DNR request. All of this 6 days post-operation for colon cancer. I should have seen this coming. I didn't. I never actually considered her dying - we joked that she'd live forever. Part of me began to think she would.
I started crying to "I'll Be Home for Christmas". I had this elaborate fuzzy-lensed dream of my grandma dancing with Bob (the grandfather I never met after dying of cancer in the 1960's) during sometime in the 1940's. A sepia toned day dream, really.
She had recently showed us these portraits she had taken very close to the time she was just married or just about to get married. I recognized how old she was since I had a photo of her in the same dress with Bob standing behind her, embraced from behind. She was so upset at the fact that she was old and wrinkled. It must be difficult to feel old, and potentially "ugly" when the portrait of your late husband sits on his side of the bed... a portrait from when he was in the army during WW2. She aged... he never did. But in my day dream, they are the same age and enjoying the fact that its now her time to come home.
I hope it all ends just like this.