O-Ho-Ho
A little over a week and then we head to Ohio. I hate going there and I love going there. The drive... sucks, at best.
Our old route (from Greensboro to Ohio) took us on a completely different path than the one we face now. You;d head through windy (that's wind, as in, if you drive to fast, you could flip going through all those turns) West Virginia mountains on the turnpike and up through the middle of Ohio. You'd pass through Merrietta (my mother would call this the halfway point and insist on eating lunch there). You'd see Big Boy's and the Canton Football Hall of Fame. You'd go through hilly areas with Ohio barns and you had a choice of two exits to get to Rob's folks.
The route we take next week? B-O-R-I-N-G. Its features include shitloads of traffic outside, in and all around DC. It could be noon on a Sunday or 3 AM on a Wednesday - doesn't matter. Everybody gets sucked into this traffic blackhole only to chug along at 20 mph, if you are really cruising. Somehow, the drive back home through DC is far worse thus extending your last hour of the drive into a 2 hour hell.
You then get to go through a small blip of the Maryland wetlands and into Pennsylvania - the paved turnpike featuring no features at all. This concrete mass has been underconstruction every time I have been on it. There's no shoulder anywhere, so once (when we were driving on this thing in a January snowstorm) we nearly got killed by sliding 18 wheelers and idiot drivers slooshing through mushy snow that had nowhere to drain. This turnpike locks you into a 3 hour tour of the rather open, large hills of the Penn area while you desperately search for anything to eat other than Rob Roy. I don't what Rob Roy did to get the king seat as the only eatery on the Penn Turnpike - but its completely unfair to those of us plagued with the ability to taste.
Lastly, we then switch from the Penn Turnpike to the Ohio Turnpike (the drive from Richmond to Ohio is about $13 in tolls). This drive is flat, flat, flat and offers nothing to look at. Somewhere around a half hour later, you spot a camper area and know that you are about there. Then Rob begin pointing out such features as where Aaron spent his bachelor night, where the used auto dealer used to be a Red Barn restaurant and where this one club has changed owners yet again. Its like my dad. I roll my eyes but I think I actually like the ritualistic part of it. It completes the trip really.
Only one more week until Swensen's, Cincinnati Chile restaurants, Gabriel's Brothers, Kent State University bars (the Zephyr) and the News & Photo Shop (I have no idea why we go here nearly everytime).
Our old route (from Greensboro to Ohio) took us on a completely different path than the one we face now. You;d head through windy (that's wind, as in, if you drive to fast, you could flip going through all those turns) West Virginia mountains on the turnpike and up through the middle of Ohio. You'd pass through Merrietta (my mother would call this the halfway point and insist on eating lunch there). You'd see Big Boy's and the Canton Football Hall of Fame. You'd go through hilly areas with Ohio barns and you had a choice of two exits to get to Rob's folks.
The route we take next week? B-O-R-I-N-G. Its features include shitloads of traffic outside, in and all around DC. It could be noon on a Sunday or 3 AM on a Wednesday - doesn't matter. Everybody gets sucked into this traffic blackhole only to chug along at 20 mph, if you are really cruising. Somehow, the drive back home through DC is far worse thus extending your last hour of the drive into a 2 hour hell.
You then get to go through a small blip of the Maryland wetlands and into Pennsylvania - the paved turnpike featuring no features at all. This concrete mass has been underconstruction every time I have been on it. There's no shoulder anywhere, so once (when we were driving on this thing in a January snowstorm) we nearly got killed by sliding 18 wheelers and idiot drivers slooshing through mushy snow that had nowhere to drain. This turnpike locks you into a 3 hour tour of the rather open, large hills of the Penn area while you desperately search for anything to eat other than Rob Roy. I don't what Rob Roy did to get the king seat as the only eatery on the Penn Turnpike - but its completely unfair to those of us plagued with the ability to taste.
Lastly, we then switch from the Penn Turnpike to the Ohio Turnpike (the drive from Richmond to Ohio is about $13 in tolls). This drive is flat, flat, flat and offers nothing to look at. Somewhere around a half hour later, you spot a camper area and know that you are about there. Then Rob begin pointing out such features as where Aaron spent his bachelor night, where the used auto dealer used to be a Red Barn restaurant and where this one club has changed owners yet again. Its like my dad. I roll my eyes but I think I actually like the ritualistic part of it. It completes the trip really.
Only one more week until Swensen's, Cincinnati Chile restaurants, Gabriel's Brothers, Kent State University bars (the Zephyr) and the News & Photo Shop (I have no idea why we go here nearly everytime).
posted by Brooke Ullman at 8:17 AM
2 Comments:
I'm bored just READING that!! But try driving to and from FL from here. BORING!!
Hey, Kids! You better shoot me an email and let me know when yer gonna be in town. Ya gotta come meet the liitleuns!
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