Once again, giving myself no credit...

So, I worked this contract agency for a year thus earning enough credits to take one of their 2 day courses (or 2 one-day courses... or 2 of a 3-day course and paying the difference).
I decided to brush up on my very outdated skills by taking the 3-day course offered on DreamWeaver CS3. I was trained on DreamWeaver (if you can call it that) while in college. I then learned (on the job) GoLive. I used GoLive for years before having to relearn DreamWeaver. I'm essentially, self taught. I'm also very rusty with a basic level of understanding.
Well, at least I thought I was.
This class is, yes, designed for beginners. And, after having not actively used the programs in years... I thought it best to start from the beginning.
I am learning what the point of organizing the website is (DreamWeaver has all these great shortcuts like "root directories" that help keep track of things, etc etc... I am so very old-school that I have been ignoring such modern conveniences. This class is helping show me why that is stupid).
But the class. The class is filled with 4 mac users and 3 PC users... all of which are older than me (not that that is a bad thing, calm down out there my older readers). The class is comprised of the noisy two who haven't been to school in ages so they eagerly and excitedly chatter with the professers before class. They throw out factoids and "have you ever heard of's," to the point of being a complete time waster. And, once the class is truly ON... they get lost and jumble around. Or, worse still, they mess around and get lost while showboating or not paying attention.
I... am... drowning.
*more to come*, this story has more ranting left in it but my break time is up! back to class!*

So, the class did get more interesting into the 2nd of the three days. We actually began to learn the things that I wanted to learn. And, I found myself more engaged.
The 3rd day was also interesting but sprinkled heavily with more time wasters. I checked my email alot and began creating my own messes just to keep myself challenged (and awake).
One particular 40-something talked ALL THE TIME, "Oh! Wait... where did you go to get that screen? I don't have that button on my program. Nope, it doesn't exist. Oh, wait! Wait! Is this it here? Oh yes! OK, I got it now. OK, so then what?"
We'd all sit and wait...in wonder. Will she figure anything out, ever. And, will she shut the hell up.
Are-you-freaking-kidding-me?
OK, I don't think the others were as annoyed as me. I am now recalling why I used to get extra work from grade school teachers - just to keep me occupied. I get bored and irritated at the drop of a hat. Or, at the opening of this woman's mouth.
At one point, I actually blurted out, "Get it together (name withheld)!"
I mean, seriously. You aren't cute or entertaining. If I were PAYING for this 3 day course, it would run me $1300+.
That's a lot of dough to listen to your crap. Its not my fault you signed up for a class without knowing how to change a file name. Some obvious basics should have been covered before your arrival to this class.
*sigh*
So, in the end? I gave the professor glowing remarks EXCEPT a very low score for not controlling the class. I mean, he does need to say at one point, "Just try and follow along. We can catch up during the break so the class can keep moving."
Am I wrong?

I think I give myself very little credit until I meet "peers". I sometimes question my skill-set or talent level. I beat myself up a little only to then have experiences like this. I then I see how totally inept over half the people are out there. And then I feel good about myself. And then a little frustrated as to why I am still only a senior designer, ha! In time, in time.

Burnin' Bridges '08

Every year I make a resolution that's not always mainstream "norm". A few years ago it was to stop making fun of people. That last at least 2 weeks, maybe 2 and 1/2.
This year - Burnin' Bridges '08
I have the habit of keeping up with friendships that no one else would spend 1 minute on. I don't necessarily maintain them so much as I will make a friendship rise from the dead. Many of which, should stay dead.
Take ex-boyfriends, for instance. I don't make a habit of calling or connecting with them. I will occasionally drop an email just to see if they are alive, dead, married or divorced or if they ever amounted to anything since I left them in my wake. Why bother, you ask? Everybody asks. Even my last boyfriend asked but was later "happy" to know I would do the same with him years later. Some of that is changing this year, however, some bridges are best left burnt.
Its not just old dead friendships and relationships that I like waste my efforts on - its friendships that don't return the favor, to.
When I look back on all the people I have had actively call me, email me, send me a latter or stop by my house for a visit - its far less than the number of people I feel compelled to send a Christmas card to. Why the hell do I feel the need to give some of these people just 5 minutes to send this email or just $.41 to send this Christmas card when they don't give a lick to return the same amount of energy back my way?
I have discovered, through the power of passing a human out of my body in '07, that the number of people I haven't spent time & energy on came out of the woodwork to supply us with kind words, cards of congratulations, stop overs to meet the baby and home-cooked meals.
I plan to do a better job of giving back to the people who have given to me and if that means stealing back the 5 minutes or the $.41 stamp I waste on yet another almost dead friendship --- then so be it. Cause aren't friendships supposed to make you feel good not worn out from all the work?