Monday, July 31, 2006

Pegasus

Ah, and to think I was a little lost for things to post on the blog. I should know now that "silence is golden" in more ways than one. When nothing is going on... that's not necessarily a "bad" thing.

Alycia was in town this weekend (good times: sangria, many many things to talk about, some mild shopping in Carytown and a nice breakfast send-off). Unfortunately, my good time ended abruptly when I decided to play with the kitchen sink...
Alycia noted that the sink handles turn in the wrong directions. "Yes," I said, "Rob installed it. In fact - check out how the spray hose doesn't work at all..."
I demonstrated. The hose dripped pathetically (it never has performed beyond a trickle) and I let go of the handle. The faucet should switch back on at this time. It didn't.
I, fearing that some hose would suddenly burst with the water pressure building [insert visual of Tom & Jerry here. Like the time they tied a garden hose in a knot causing a huge swelling... leading to a watery explosion], start screaming, "Rob! Rob! hurry!"
It didn't explode. It never turned back on either. Frustration gives way to annoyonce gives way to anger. Rob starts pulling out the series of Time Life Books we borrowed from my dad (yes, the collection from the early 80's. Great basic resource material, but let's get real here. What are the odds that any information given in there would apply to a faucet spicket from the 2000's?Same basic principles apply over time, yes, but I don't think all kitchen faucets were created equal. Ah yes, foreshadowing...)
Davis takes a look and, agreeing with Alycia's diagnosis, we remove this toggle/"T pipe" that seems to be the culprit. I offer to drive to Lowe's to find a new part. You can all see where this is going... a little while after staring at the aisles, a woman contractor offers to run me around the faucet aisle. She then proceeds to tear open boxes with her teeth telling me no one is ever available to help. She is opening up boxes looking for the same part so I can then learn the name of it and go from there. This isn't working and she eventually gives up on me. I call Rob to see what kind of brand name it is.
Pegasus.
"Did we get that at Home Depot?"
"I have no idea."
"Shit, I have to drive out there now, don't I? Why the hell did we buy 'Pegasus'? Who's THAT?"
I leave Lowe's but not before updating the contractor who asks, "Who the hell is Pegasus?"
Not a good sign when a contractor's never heard of it.
Home Depot.
Turns out Pegasus is the most expensive brand there (that's probably why I bought it - thinking it was good. What did I know? I bought it the week we bought the house. It looked so shiny and new I was drawn to it like a hummingbird admiring its reflection). It also turns out that they do not carry replacement parts (I'd have to call the company to mail me a part on Monday), that this is the higher level brand of Glacier Bay (Home Depot's brand) and the guy said its the most often returned company. He laughs, "I'd never recommend this to anyone!"
"Thanks alot."
I sulk off.
Actually, I call Rob ranting and raving and then I sulk off.
Frustrated, I tell Rob I am returning the whole thing. I find the box and the nearly completely faded receipt from the attic. Rob doesn't want me to take it apart (and he doesn't want to either for that matter). A stand off at the sink leads to me sending him out and me leaving this project for Monday. So, I start the fully laoded dishawsher instead.
"What are you doing?!."
"Dishes!"
To be fair, I did ask Rob if it was OK.
Turns out, it wasn't - its no longer hooked up to the sink.
Water gets turned off and on at this point - spraying all over Rob who's under the sink again.
I thought I was going to loose an appendage when I asked him if he needed any help.
Long story short - I end up having to wash a fully loaded dishwasher BY HAND. One full hour and at least 8 trips to the shower with a bucket... and the task was done.
I hate dishes. They are my one vice - I'd leave dirty dishes piled onto the floor if I knew I could get away with it. Most women hate dirty dishes. I hate washing dishes so much that I'll leave piles of them unclean for days. But, I also hate the ants that have seemingly taken up residence in my walls where I can't kill them. Therefore, I spent an hour cleaning. With a bucket.
Let this story be a lesson. Do not fuck around with things that are already not working right unless you have time on your hands. Never buy things simply cause they "look cool". And always ask the guy at the store which brand is most often returned for faulty parts.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tubin' Report

ah, the life...
Brian and Dawn sink on in
Lisa relaxes on the beach
The men explore the tributary that feeds the James near the beach
Brian! Damn you!

First, tell me what you want to hear...

Ever play a scenerio back in your head... a conversation... that at first you think, "Oh yeah, that was really funny when I said X-Y-Z. [giggle to self]. And when I responded to that question about what was my most creative moment... that was a great answer. Yeah, that was inspired and witty."
And then a day later, "Was I an ass when I said that? No, no. no... he laughed. It was all good."
Two days later, "Oh my Gawd, why in the hell did I say that?!. I must have sounded like a jerk!"
Three days later, "I'm over it. What's said is said. Its all done now, no sense in rethinking and analyzing the past."
Fourth day, "I wonder when he'll call."

Friday, July 21, 2006

http://www.nrcc.org/

Please tell me how this is NOT in support of the Republican Party?
The NRCC has been calling me daily for 2 weeks now and leaving voice messages asking me to call back to 'receive my National Leadersip Award' and how'd they'd like to do a PR piece on me. Rob couldn't take it anymore so I finally called back. The person with whom I spoke kept saying I "won" the National Leadership Award (an award brought to me by congressman Tom Reynolds?). Anyways, after a long spiel, they basically want business leaders to serve on the "business advisory council" to discuss the local economy, the rising health care costs, etc etc. They even played a recorded message from the congressman asking me to serve on this panel. In the end, you get a "golden walnut" (I started to giggle at the name of a such a prestigious award, its a replica of the gavel they use in the House) to proudly display in your office for all your co-workers to see, a plaque stating that you're a "National Leadership Award" winner to show on your office wall, and a group dinner with President Bush. Yes, she actually highlighted that I could 'show off' these things... apparently this is a bait-tactic that gets many egotistical Republicans to bite.
They want to run a full paged ad in the Wallstreet Journal (its all ready and set for press, would I like to have my name in print in the ad to show support?).
"We know its short notice but we will give you all of this for helping us with your opinions and discussions on a panel to help better the local economy. All we ask is a donation of $500... you can break this up into 2 easy payments of $250 each. Your support in this movement is greatly appreciated and we do look forward to having you speak as a business leader in your area of Richmond."
"I'm sorry, it sounds like a great movement but I am not at all in support of the Republican Party or President Bush at this time, thank you."
"But it isn't for the Republican Party, it is a Business Advisory Council designed to help better national businesses, we'd really love to have your name in print to help pledge support..."
"You can remove me from the list and I do not want my name in print, thank you."
"Thank you for your time Miss Ullman."

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Tubing

Why is this spot warm?We go tubing this weekend - yippee!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

SS FUEL

...because I'm an asshole, that's why
I drove to work behind a black Yukon XL (There's regular Yukon, XL Yukon and soon-to-be Super-sized Yukon. I hear "XXL" is due out in 2008. It includes bucket seats for the new average sized 32" ass). At first I thought it was rather funny that this driver chose to have the custom license plate "SS FUEL." Its like cutting in line wearing a shirt that says "I'm an asshole." Why yes, you are!
This truck averages 14MPG driving in the city and 18MPG on the highway. An average score (combined) of 15MPG. Its actually near the "worst" side of the spectrum when it comes to level of greenhouses gases.
I don't think that license plate is very funny anymore.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Hear this!

Someone sent me one of those EXTREMELY UNIQUE [read: sarcasm] email questionaires this past weekend. Which, yes-yes-yes, I did take the time to fill out and email back. I really don't know why I don't just keep all my answers in a personal file next to my resume and that list of important phone numbers so I can just save time & fire it off at a moment's notice. But no, these are the things I think of after-the-fact.
I always try to respond to the person who sent me the email - they do, afterall, think this is fun and they, too, took the time to fill it out. By not writing that person back, its like ignoring the slimmy ball the dog left at your feet just cause you don't want to get your hands messy (you are an animal lover, aren't you?!). But I do make it a point to never send my answers/questionaire on to additional people for fear I'll then be obligated to read their answers (I don't care if you prefer chocolate or vanilla ice cream. We obviously are not that good of friends if you keep sending me these "fun" questionaires that ask things normal friends would already know about each other. Or better still, if you are my friend you wouldn't put me through email hell with these fun ways of wasting my time.)
But I did like the question: "What is your favorite sound?"
I like the sound of snow... late at night when no one is outside... and its dark out but the sky is lit up with the reflecting glow of the white show... and its that gentle "shhh'ing" sound as the snow falls.
I also love, love, love the sound of clanking dishes in the morning. There was a beautiful spring morning I was walking the dog in the fan and I heard someone washing dishes out the window - it was such a wonderful spring-time sound. The feeling of opening up the house and getting up earlier with the sun...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Plant it and watch it grow

Nothing very exciting going on in my days. J had her baby girl this past week (I had heard C-Section babies are cute but boy-oh-boy, they are either right or this baby's just got the right mix of beautiful genes). Rumor has it C's having a boy this fall (this the 3rd baby boy one of my friends has had in the last 12 babies I can think of off the top of my head. Is this the sign I have been waiting for... that women will slowly begin to take over the world? [fingers crossed]). Congrats to both on their news & big events.

It is 2 months till our anniversary and Rob still has made no progress toward making our trip to Boston a potential reality. I'm seriosuly not trying to be passive aggressive by writing this either - I harp on this plenty, trust me, he knows. But, sometimes, a girl just doesn't wanted to be the drum majorette in all the marches - know what I am saying? Sometimes I think, [cue dream sequence music and fill the room with smoke]"Oh, wouldn't it be fantastic to be surprised!"

I recently found myself laying out the sequence of events that Rob would have go through to get "While You Were Out" (or some such miracle working/reality home improvement show) here to completely redo the backyard for me while I was in Chicago. I found myself describing how I'd like to see things coordinated and what would go where... you know, just in case. I couldn't possibly have HINTED more intensely.
When I returned to the dirt hole called my backyard, I sighed. (All-the-while knowing it was all rather last minute that I had suggested to Rob how he should surprise me with a whole backyard transition. I mean, I only left him with 24 hours to coordinate getting in touch with TLC, sending the TV show here, design the layout, etc). But maybe he'll coordinate some big event next time (like *hint* BOSTON). The seed is planted, right? If the current state of my backyard is any sign as to how great a gardner I am - the seed will never grow in Rob's head.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Redhead

Our future?On my flight back from Chicago there was a very active toddler group sitting behind me. A boy, about 4?, was eagerly asking when we were going to land so he could see dad while his sister was fixing her headphones on her nano. I asked mom if I could take a picture cause she was so damned cute. She adjusted her headphones many times before finding just the right sit, thumb in mouth, Sponge Bob playing on the nano, and a perfect reclining position. And she's only 2.5! Mom said she was 2 going on 13. Just look at that hair! OK, I really want kids...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sweet Home, Chicago.


UPDATE:

Photos!
password: july8


Leavin' tomorrow for the homeland. Natalie's wedding is this Saturday.
Rob says he's going to charge li'l Sprout for the trip. I think its funny how men are always so on top of the latest music, playing music and having it available at all times. And yet, when it comes to food (dinner) or bill paying or organization,... they fall apart. I'm a typical woman - I love music and will tell you whether or not that genre is something I care to listen to right now. But, for me to get the motivation to bring music with me or start playing it on my own... would never happen.
So - I fly out tomorrow (Friday morning) and have two very busy wedding days until I fly back on Sunday. Rob's not going with me - too pricey. Well, it WAS when I bought tickets and then they were miraculously half-price a few weeks later. I hate airlines.
* PS, congrats to K who is apparently pregnant & expecting a girl.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Leather Bound

Our 3 year anniversary is coming up and it had me wondering - what (besides the sterotypical wallet, watch, bondageware or personalized briefcase) is there that would be unique and creative? I've come across some truly outstanding suggestions [sarcasm] while online. Here's a great suggestion I found on someone else's site. He asks the inarguable question: "The traditional gift for the 3rd Anniversary is leather. What could be a more appropriate gift than red leather roses?"
What could be?

For only $99 - you can have this keepsake (vase optional) that boasts your unending love... in the form of leather roses. How can I expand upon this?

The 28 day cycle

Time's almost up. A decision MUST be made!
I'm trying very hard to not act like that - that is, afterall, my typical modus operandi.
Random thoughts generated by this weekend:
Breeder: def.pregnant people. Origin: Pitzer.
(hilarious to say the least - I plan to use this term a lot).
I love sledgehammers (I knew I would) &, as a result, I need more to smash.
Laying in the sun with a book - is a perfect summer day.
Popsicle bombpops while driving a stick shift car in 90degree heat is possible albeit messy.
I am very lucky to be in the situations I find myself in - not to be hokey - but I have a great house, 2 great dogs and a very amazing husband to spend my life with.